The Adventures of Farkas the Dragonborn

A snarky story of Farkas and his journey through Skyrim with... himself. Warning: This blog contains Farkas.

"A Farkasborn is a rare individual who has been born with the blood and soul of a Farkas, but the body of a mortal, and can naturally learn and speak their ancient and powerful tongue. Farkasborn scarcely exist and it is rare for more than one to appear within an era..." - fix'd from TES Wikia

------------------------------------------------------- A/N: [Text written between brackets] Owned and maintained by Sephirona. -------------------------------------------------------
[Reblog, don't repost, please!]

chapter 5: that which must not be named

Farkas went out for some after-dinner exercise and was greeted by a mudcrab while walking along a riverbank. The mudcrab waved its arms, tipped with sharp pincers, in a gesture of acknowledgement. Farkas responded in kind, waving his arms tipped with sharp steel. This is how one shows politeness in the name of Ysgramor.

He picked some nirnroot. It hummed a bit, and Farkas thought it sounded rather nice. Vilkas had been dabbling in alchemy between jobs, and might be interested in it. Farkas was a very thoughtful brother.

Afterwards, he continued walking, when suddenly—

Alas, Farkas’ trip was cut short. He hurried home, and, unfortunately, was not able to sleep very well that night.

The End.


"Aela once dropped a spider nest into my armor when I made her angry. It isn’t good to make Aela angry." said Farkas.


sephirona:

I was sitting at a table in my living room that we pile stuff on and  there was a lot of old packaged food  and random junk on it, and I was  thinking to myself, “Hey. We should probably get rid of this cause it’s  taking up weight in the house and that isn’t good.” before I realized  that we aren’t in Skyrim and also houses don’t have Carry Weights cause  they’re houses.I am confuse.So have a Farkas pewpewing arrows.

[Reblog because Farkas. ಠuಠ]

sephirona:

I was sitting at a table in my living room that we pile stuff on and there was a lot of old packaged food  and random junk on it, and I was thinking to myself, “Hey. We should probably get rid of this cause it’s taking up weight in the house and that isn’t good.” before I realized that we aren’t in Skyrim and also houses don’t have Carry Weights cause they’re houses.

I am confuse.

So have a Farkas pewpewing arrows.

[Reblog because Farkas. ಠuಠ]


[ Oh, is this your bedroom, Farkas? So sorry. I totally wasn’t waiting on purpose for you to come in so I could watch you sleep. Yeah okay, I don’t know what this gif would be useful for, but enjoy Farkas throwing open the door of his bedroom with you in it, for what it’s worth. ]

[ Oh, is this your bedroom, Farkas? So sorry. I totally wasn’t waiting on purpose for you to come in so I could watch you sleep. Yeah okay, I don’t know what this gif would be useful for, but enjoy Farkas throwing open the door of his bedroom with you in it, for what it’s worth. ]


By Ysgramor's furry underwear, the Farkasborn has come! Have you met Ulfric Stormcock by any chance?

"Vilkas said the war isn’t for us. He told me not to worry about it because it was complicated, so I didn’t. Guards around town keep saying this Ulfric guy shouted at someone and killed him, though. That’s real strange. Why would you shout at someone when you can just bludgeon them? Bludgeoning works much better."

Later that day, Skjor was bewildered when Farkas approached him to ask where he might be able to find a pair of fur-covered underpants. It seems Farkas thinks very highly of the almighty Ysgramor indeed. Furry underwear. In the name of Ysgramor!

[Farkas has yet to embark on his journey through Skyrim as the Dragonborn since Companion duties came first, but he’ll get around to talking to Jarl Balgruuf soon C; ]



[I don’t know about anyone else, but when I first heard Farkas say this, I cracked up so hard. It’s as if he says it proudly and doesn’t realize that, despite the compliment, he was just indirectly called stupid again. Farkas is so cute omgIjustwanttosmushhisface. Anyways, figured out how to make higher resolution gifs yay. - Rona]


chapter 4: war cows and mammoth cheese.

For some reason Farkas wasn’t able to sleep very well at all that night, and so when the sun rose the next morning he went out on a walk for some fresh air. Soon, he came upon a farmer escorting a cow. The farmer said the cow was meant as a peace offering to the giants who would leave his cattle alone in return. Farkas saw the painted markings on the cow, so much like his own warpaint, and thought it looked less like a peace offering and more like it was going to war.

He was right.

Farkas took a brief moment to recognize the irony of asking for your cattle’s protection but not for your own before he noted that the giants were very big and that perhaps it would be best if he was bigger as well. He transformed. As he did so, it occurred to him that Skjor had been correct - he felt extremely hairy. It was very exciting.

The giants were quite rude. Farkas thought it was very un-neighborly of them, so he beat them up. Meanwhile, their mammoths had been standing idly by and seemed to ignore what was going on…

…but charged once he transformed back into a human. Farkas thought this was rude as well, and not to mention a bit racist against humans.

So he beat them up too. In the name of Ysgramor.

War Cow came up to him afterwards and they shared a moment of silence in the true warrior fashion.

Then, Farkas’ nose drew him to the large, pungent baskets of Mammoth Cheese nearby. The giants did not protest (being very much incapacitated) and Farkas thought it was kind of them to share and so helped himself. Dinner at Jorrvaskr was fantastic that night.

The End.


chapter 3: beastblood.

When Farkas woke the next morning, his brother’s look of disgruntled displeasure was several degrees more severe than usual. “You should not drink so much mead at once, brother,” he chastised. “It is not good to let the whelps see you drunk…and undressed.” Farkas was confused but his brother was as smart as Ysgramor and therefore was probably right. He also had a massive headache for some reason and so didn’t feel up to arguing about it anyway. Farkas rubbed his forehead in an attempt to sooth the ache, but only succeeded in smearing around several days worth of accumulated dirt and warpaint into different locations on his face. Such it is with hangovers.

Farkas located his armor strewn about the mead hall and put it on. He found himself sitting at a table munching on some bread, and told himself to talk to Skjor, who had been looking for him. When he found Skjor, he was told to come to the Underforge after nightfall, where he would be given a gift. Farkas was excited. He loved presents.

When he entered the Underforge that night, Skjor told him Aela was waiting and motioned towards her. Farkas thought she looked a bit hairier than usual but chose to say nothing because she was bigger than he was at the moment and it wouldn’t have been smart. Farkas may not be the brightest of people, but let it not be said that he doesn’t have a great sense of instinct.

Skjor sliced her arm open and she bled into the basin in the center of the room. Skjor said if he drank it, he could become “as big and scary as a wild beast”. Farkas misheard him and thought he said “big and hairy”. He liked being big and he was already very hairy, so it was all the same to him. He drank the blood.

He didn’t really remember what happened afterwards, but the next thing he knew, he was naked and Aela was congratulating him on his first time. The possible implications of such a statement in such circumstances flew over Farkas’ head, as does many things when one is not skilled with language.

She then told him he’d been even more intense than Farkas at his first transformation. He was more intense than he was before, then? Apparently. Again, the stream of possible implications (incidentally, typed in neat white text) sailed over his head, much like misfired arrows.

He noted his state of undress and decided being a Werewolf was a lot like being drunk.

He then noticed that he was able to smell prey in ways he’d never been able to before, and followed his nose back to Jorrvaskr, where he removed a few of Auntie Tilma’s (“Farkas dear, I think you’ve forgotten your clothes again”) freshly baked and very pleasantly fragrant sweetrolls from the food chain in the name of Ysgramor and then went to sleep.

The End.